Choose Differently

Look at this differently.
Embrace the surrounding.
Open the energy,
and succumb to the now.

Shine in this space.
Give breath to the rooms.
Lean not only forward,
but touch what stands beneath.

It’s easy to get caught up in the wants of life. To be thinking so much about what we believe we need to have in order to be happy that we lose complete sight of all that we have right here, in this moment. There can be so much negative energy wrapped up in the constant battle for what we are hungry for and sometimes just shifting that energy can change everything.

At the end of March, I had over three months of living in this temporary apartment, surrounded by boxes and feeling very unsettled. I didn’t want to fully unpack yet, knowing this was just a brief stop along the way to the dream home that my husband and I were searching for. My entire world was about finding a house, but not just any house, the right house. It was frustrating and growing heavy on my shoulders because nothing was showing up. My mood was changing, I was experiencing a lot of ups and downs and wasn’t really taking care of myself, as a result – which only perpetuates the cycle of negativity. Everything was on hold. It was as if our lives had completely stopped, yet time was still passing by, and passing by so quickly that I started to feel like I was in the middle of a black hole that was sucking a huge chunk of life experiences right out from under me.

So much of my energy was being spent within the want of a house and hating where I am living, that it left me feeling absolutely miserable. On the day that I wrote this poem, I changed that energy. I made the decision to look at my circumstances differently. Instead of hating what was around me, I began living in this space as if it was the home I had been dreaming of. I started each day by envisioning what it was to feel like I was already living in the place that I had been searching for and paid my respects to the roof over my head with nothing but gratitude. Yes, it took some work, but by making the choice to see my current circumstances differently, I was able to completely shift the energy surrounding me. I stopped letting things hold me back. I planned a vacation, took trips to the zoo, made plans with friends and started living again. Two weeks later, after I had let it all go and stopped obsessing about the house hunting, there it was. The one that was just right for us popped up on the market and we will be calling it home in just a few weeks from now.